What changes when a death occurs in a team

Sometimes a single message is enough, and nothing in the team is the same as it was before.

Just yesterday, he was sitting at his desk, taking part in meetings, chatting about his weekend over coffee, or being frustrated about a decision. Perhaps he had been ill for a while. Perhaps his death came completely unexpectedly.

And then he is no longer there.

The workspace remains. His tasks remain. Appointments are still in the calendar. Perhaps there is still a jacket draped over the chair or his mug is still on the desk. But the person to whom all this belonged is missing.

What happens in a team when a person is suddenly no longer there?

I would like to explore this question more intensively in the coming editions of “Between Yesterday and Tomorrow.”

Why this topic matters to me personally

I have encountered death in my professional life several times.

My brother died at his workplace, in an office. A colleague with whom I had shared a ride to work daily for a long time also died unexpectedly. And there were other deaths during my career. People who were suddenly no longer there and whose deaths had an impact long after the moment the news was received.

Such experiences do not simply vanish from everyday work. They change something.

At the same time, I know the other side: the world of companies, the demands on managers, the pressure of having to make decisions, and the necessity to eventually become capable of working again despite a deep sense of shock.

Today, I combine these experiences with my work as a grief counselor and with my perspective on teams and organizations.

In doing so, I repeatedly encounter a fundamental tension:

How can a company act humanely while simultaneously taking responsibility?

It is not just a worker who is missing

When a team member dies, it is not simply a vacancy that is created.

A human being who was part of a social fabric is missing.

Perhaps he was the one who was the first to enter the office in the morning. The one who noticed tensions early on. The colleague who had collected knowledge over years that is not fully documented anywhere. The employee who organized birthdays and welcomed new colleagues especially warmly.

Even difficult relationships do not disappear because of a death. Perhaps there was an unresolved conflict. Perhaps people had barely spoken to each other for weeks. Perhaps someone feels anger, guilt, or even relief in addition to grief and feels ashamed of it.

A team, therefore, does not grieve as a unified whole.

Every person had a different relationship with the deceased. Everyone experiences loss differently. Some cry. Some withdraw. Others immediately start organizing or throw themselves into their work. Still others seem barely touched at first.

None of these reactions allows for a simple conclusion about how important the deceased colleague was to an individual.

The team is no longer the same either

A death does not only change individuals. It changes relationships, roles, and routines.

• Who takes over the previous tasks?
• What happens with the empty workspace?
• How should one speak to clients, customers, or business partners?
• Who contacts the relatives?
• Is it okay to laugh?
• When is it okay to return to normalcy?
• And what does normalcy even mean when a familiar person is missing?

There is no universal answer to many of these questions.

However, it makes a big difference whether they are consciously acknowledged and addressed together or whether a team is expected to return to the usual daily routine as quickly as possible.

Because work can certainly provide support in such a situation. It creates structure, reliability, and temporary relief from overwhelming emotions.

It only becomes problematic when the ability to work is confused with apathy or the impression is created that grief has no place in the workplace.

Leadership without ready-made answers

This situation is particularly challenging for leaders.

They are expected to inform, make decisions, and provide guidance. Perhaps they have to contact the relatives, speak with the HR department, redistribute tasks, or prepare a response from the company.

At the same time, they may be shaken themselves and not know what is right.

If you bear responsibility in such a situation, you do not have to have all the answers. You also do not have to appear unaffected.

It is much more important that you acknowledge the reality of the loss, endure uncertainty, and provide your team with an initial reliable framework.

Often, good leadership in such a situation begins with simple sentences:

• We have just lost a person who belonged to our team.
• I don't have an answer to every question yet.
• We will take the next steps together and with the necessary calm.

This does not take away the grief. But it can prevent additional disorientation on top of the shock.

What does a team need when a person is no longer there?

This question will be the common thread of the coming editions.

We will look at what can be helpful in the first hours and days. How leadership remains possible even when the manager is affected. Why people react so differently and how tensions in the team can arise from this.

It will be about pausing and continuing to work, about saying goodbye and remembering, about the empty desk, and about the difficult question of finding a replacement. Also about why grief can return later on and what companies can prepare before a specific death occurs.

It will not be about rigid recipes. Teams, people, and situations are too different for that.

But there are ways to create orientation, stabilize people, and shape how to handle the loss in a way that is both humane and responsibly managed from a business perspective.

Between yesterday and tomorrow

Perhaps the name of this newsletter has never fit as well as it does for the situation following the death of a team member.

The way of being together previously suddenly belongs to yesterday. How the team will work together in the future is not yet foreseeable. In between lies a time in which much is uncertain and important paths are being set at the same time.

In the coming months, I would like to take a closer look at this transition period.

From my personal experience. From my former responsibility in companies. From the perspective of grief counseling. And from the knowledge that handling grief well not only helps individuals but also protects the social fabric of a team.

I am also interested in your experience:

Have you experienced the death of a person in your professional environment? What helped you and your team back then, and what else would have been needed?

If you would like to share your experience with me, please feel free to write to me confidentially. Your feedback can help align the questions in this series even more closely with the reality of managers and teams.

The next edition will deal with the first hours and days after the news:

What must happen now and what can still wait?